Battlestar Red --Tin CansThe Tin Cans Get Confused... "Baltar, the attack force is closing in on the Galactica." "Yes? And what else, Lucifer?" "I just thought you'd like to know." Baltar thought sure he heard rebuke in Lucifer's voice,but chose instead to ignore it. He fixed the I.L. Cylon, aka theWalking Lightbulb, with a stare that said, "Out with it already. Iknow you're salivating to give me some piece of horrible news thatwould completely ruin my day and cause my ulcers to kick intooverdrive." Lucifer correctly read the look on his humancommander's face. However, the news was unexpectedly good."Raiders report that they are only meeting token resistance at theedge of the fleet." "What?" "We can't explain it. The Galactica doesn't seem to beputting up a fight."
Oh, frak...The Boyz Learn the Meaning of "Frak..." The intrepid group trooped onto the bridge to findAdama, Tigh and Omega crowded around a terminal. Cassiopea hadheaded back to Life Center to help Salik deal with the chaos. Itseemed whenever something went wrong, people fled to sickbay,whether they needed medical attention or not. The din on the bridge had built to a steady roar aspersonnel scurried from every conceivable nook to everyconceivable cranny. Apollo and Starbuck hesitated, suddenlythinking the better of their very hasty decision to drag the RedDwarf crew to the bridge. If they could've touched him, theywould've grabbed Rimmer, thrown him at the foot of the commandconsole and fled to the Officers Club, leaving the hologram toexplain what happened to the commander all by himself. Whether Adama was actually able to hear the nervousshuffling of the group gathered behind him or whether he
Whoops!!On The Various Meanings of "Whoops..." The Officers Club was awash in the tell-tale red gloomof emergency back-up power. To Lister, it looked as if they'd all becast into the murky depths of hell, or the cargo decks of RedDwarf. It was hard to tell which was which sometimes. Sheba had shot out of her seat and tried using theintercom link. A frustrated scowl seated itself in her face as shegrimly punched the numbers that should've gotten her to thebridge. She finally hung it up with a slam. "Nothing. Not evenstatic." "Boomer? Any ideas?" Starbuck asked, mug frozensomewhere between the tabletop and his mouth. "It looks like the energizers are down." "Maybe maintenance..." "Without warning?" Boomer interrupted. "Therewould've been a general announcement at the morning's briefing ifthere were plans to p
Adama meets HalAdama Gets Some Bad News... Cassiopea reported the test results directly to Adama.The puzzled expression on her face was enough to offer thecommander some false hope. It was fleeting, at best. "In the instance of Cat, I think these tests safelyconclude that he's not human." Adama resisted the urge to say, "Thank the Lords ofKobol." Instead, he sagely nodded his head, as if to say, "Yup, that'swhat I suspected all along." He asked, "So what is he?" "His genetic template seems to indicate that he's afeline." "A _what_? How is this..." "You didn't let me finish, commander," Cassiopeainterrupted. "He's an evolved version of a feline." "Which means?" "He's a feline. His parents were felines. His ancestorswere felines. He is, basically, a feline, n
All Fl------ed up :DOur Heroes Discover the Meaning of "Flamingoed Up..." Lister, Cat, and Kryten sat in the Officers Club withStarbuck and Lts. Boomer and Sheba, whom they'd just meant a fewminutes/centons before. Lister decided that he'd have to revise his initialimpression of Starbuck as a total gimboid. Apparently, Starbuckhad just been suffering the effects of multiple head injuries. Lister had been a bit shocked when the lieutenant, fresh from amiraculously quick recovery in the sickbay, had invited the wholeRed Dwarf crew for a drink. Lister and the Cat accepted rightaway. Kryten, faced with the choice of joining Lister and crew ortagging along with wherever Rimmer went, decided on the lesserof two potentially unpleasant experiences. Lister was rather amazed to find that he was enjoyinghimself, although the Galactica crew was a bit more "rigid" thenthe old gang he used to hang with. They
Not of this EarthPraying That They're Not Of This Earth... "This is mine. This is mine. Ooooh. I like that one.That's mine, too. This is mine. That's mine...." On and on and on asCat danced down the corridors spraying everything in sight withtwo hastily-produced pump bottles. "Can't you make him stop?" Apollo pleaded to Lister,the only seemingly-sane one of the crew. And that wasn't sayingmuch. Lister looked at Cat before looking back at Apollo andsaid, in all seriousness, "Ever tried to make a cat do anythingbefore?" Apollo had to admit to himself that he hadn't, mostlybecause he didn't know what a cat was. Instead, he steeled himselflike the hero he was, tried his best to ignore Cat's antics, sincethey seem to be pretty harmless, and prayed that the wholeexperience was some terrible dream. The captain had been roped into escorting their guest
changing course?Adama Considers Changing Course... Apollo and Adama waited patiently for their guests tocome out of decon. Meanwhile, Dr. Salik examined the grumpyStarbuck. "Tell me, how did you manage to do this to yourself?"asked the doctor, a note of humor in his voice. Starbuck glared first at the doctor, then at Apollo. "Itwas a culinary accident. Too much spice in the food." "You got a concussion from spice?!" "Doctor, please. Just fix it. I really don't wanna talkabout it." Dr. Salik sighed, and turned to Adama. "Will yougentlemen excuse us, please. I need to take the lieutenant to theLife Center. Maybe Cassiopea can get the story out of him." As the medtechs hoisted the stretcher in whichStarbuck was laying, the lieutenant called out, "Apollo..." "Ye